Fashion

I am a Gemini. I don't believe in astrology - after all, as the saying goes, "There is no astrology for an Israelite", but the concept of twins has long fascinated me: As an only child, not only did I desire a twin, but I also was convinced - still am, at times, convinced - that I had twins in alternate universes I could communicate with through mirrors. I love the painting "The Two Fridas", in part because I feel, like Frida, that I have two "me"s inside of me: One is really spiritual. The other is obsessed with fashion.

Recently, my inner fashionista has been coming out - maybe because I am back in New York after a month's hiatus, maybe because I love the idea of costuming my identity through these visual markers, and of turning my outfit into a work of art. But sometimes I wonder if I have become too materialistic: How can I worry about flower appliques when there are homeless people starving in the streets? As I ponder my next steps in life, I gravitate towards living in Tel Aviv, and a small part of me goes: "Are you gravitating towards this just because you are in a materialistic phase? After all, Tel Aviv is not exactly known for its spiritual ascetism - but then again, you're not really aiming for spiritual ascetism, just for a fully spiritual life that sees physical pleasure as a way of connecting to God." I once heard Rabbi Riskin say that when one goes up to heaven, God will ask "Have you taken pleasure from the world that I have created"? For, after all, the world was created for human beings to enjoy - each person must balance the dictum that "For me the world was created" with the dictum that "I am dust and ashes".

Today, having lunch with a friend, the conversation turned to men's fashion, and I found myself sounding like the caricature of the girls I love to mock, kvetching about the way that men just don't know how to choose the right jeans. Of course, I suppose a difference between me and the girls I love to mock is that while I have my "ideal" of which clothes I think look good on a man, I wouldn't not go out with a man because he had what I considered to be bad fashion sense - as a matter of fact, I've gone out with plenty of guys whose clothes I thought were completely asthetically unappealing, and it never bothered me - I never even thought about it really, because it's not important to me. But I wonder: Is there something wrong with having that ideal? Do guys also have an ideal of the way that they want women to dress, and how does this ideal impact their dating decisions?

Like it or not, fashion is an expression of our popular culture - including the mysogyny and objectification of women inherent in our culture, which expresses itself in the requirement that models be a size two - and it can be used as a way to create an identity: Frida used traditional tejuana dress to help fashion her identity as a Mexican women of tejuana descent. This makes fashion fascinating, but fashion can be a very dangerous fascination, especially when it comes at the expense of more spiritual pursuits.