I beleive that whatever a couple mutually defines as cheating, is cheating, and there is no "right" or "wrong" definition, as long as each partner is comfortable with the definition. Open relationships do not violate this rule. However, often one partner will compromise - either by agreeing to not do something they would like to do, or by agreeing to let their partner do something they would rather have that partner not do. I understand that some degree of compromise is inevitable, but due to the nature of open relationships, I beleive that when the compromise is a couple's not being monogomous because of the needs of one person, at that point, it is not a compromise at all, but one partner capitulating to the other on something that defines the very nature of their relationship. So I think open relationships are prone to misuse.
Also, being non-monogomous is not a substitute for one person giving the other space, though many seem to think it is.
My other major beef with open relationships is that you are defining your relationship not in relation to your partner, but in relation to others (being with other people) or in relation to what is not present in your relationship (monogamy) as opposed to what is (love, affection, fun, etc.). This may seem like a minor semantic issue, but I beleive that words effect realities, and shape how we view things, giving form to self-fulfilling prophecies. Shaping discourse about something can become in effect, shaping the thing itself. I am not going to pretend to understand Foucault, though I have tried reading and re-reading various works by him, but that is what other people (ie college professors) tell me he said.
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