Open Relationships

Ok, now that I have tackled Random Hookups (yay!) time to move on to Open Relationships (Polyamory is all around us, and then the feeling grows.*):

There are two major types of open relationshops:

1. The couple is allowed random hookups, but not to date in a serious way.
2. All cards - both physical connections and emotional ones/real dating - are on the table.

Within these two categories, there are two physical sub-categories:

3. Yes to everything but sex.
4. Any physical action is ok.

I understand I have no right to judge; I know many people who are extremely happy with their open relationships. I am speaking right now about hesitations I have about the institution (leaving aside religious issues - clearly, Orthodox Judaism does not recognize the concept of an "open marriage" - nor would I want one - "Hey honey, I can't tuck the kids in tonight because I need to meet my lover at the S&M club down the street" - that might work for some people and make them very happy, but it's not my style.)

1. I would like to start off by observing that 90% of the people I know in open relationships either a) do not plan on getting married/winding up together permanently or b) see the open-ness as a remedy to the problem of dating long-distance, to be terminated once the couple is able to live near (or with) each other. I think that these facts say quite a lot about the nature of a long distance relationship: It is often either an indicator of doubts as to the long-long-term viability, or an imperfect remedy for having sexual needs that for whatever reason, can not currently be fulfilled by the partner in question.

Now, with these two facts in mind, I will explain my personal misgivings about this type of romantic attachment:

1. If you are saying that dating and physical connections are both on the table, you are essentially saying that you can not completely fulfill either each other's emotional or physical needs, and if you are both seriously dating on the side, you are both seriously seeking out romantic life partners who are not each other, which begs the question - why are you together in the first place?
2. If you are only having random hookups, whether or not those hookups involve actual sex, there is a major STD risk (yes, you can get herpes from a hookup that does not involve intercourse). You are basically limiting yourself to people you do not know, and often, people who engage in random hookups, since they tend to be with more people, have a higher risk of STDs, since they have more potential sources from whom to pick up disease. I do not mean this as a moral judgement; it is an unfortunate but true fact. This means your risk is higher as well. Of course, you could just go around having random hookups with people you know/trust they don't have STDs, but after a while, wouldn't that get pretty awkward?
3. If you are people who enjoy spending time together but sleep both with each other and with others, what makes you more than friends with benefits?

If any couples in open relationships want to respond, that would be great - I would love to learn more about this from people actually involved in it, and hear what they have to say. I have heard form my friends, but its a limited sample.