My Saturday night plans were hurricaned out, and I am sick of spending time on phones screaming at banks, so I decided to blog instead. Woohoo!
I realized I have a few more thoughts on Mad Men (spoiler alert):
1. Joan is raped in season 3. She goes to the office with her fiance. Everyone is gone. She tells her fiance "No, not here" and "This isn't fun", but he continues. I thought that this scene was realistic, since in the 1960s societal definitions of rape were different, and a) spousal/fiance-al rape was not really talked about or considered legitimate b) it was sometimes assumed if a woman started kissing, but started saying "No" or "This isn't fun", unless she was screaming, or physically resisting you, it wasn't "real" rape - a part of her wanted it.
I think these attitudes are still prevalent today, but not to the degree that they were then. Joan's fiance does not think of his actions as rape, but merely as screwing/having a good time with his fiance. I applaud Mad Men for realistically portraying this issue, and for portraying it without fetishizing it or making that scene seem sexy.
Extra kudos for making Joan's husband a jerk. The message: Usually, you are not a perfect guy who loves and respects your wife who happened to rape her once. If you raped her once, this probably reflects a lack of respect for her/for women that will impact other areas of your relationship. I am not opposed to a complex movie that portrays a rapist in a psychologically nuanced way, including good aspects of his character, but since MM is only a TV series, it can't do that - so it made him a bad guy. I think that was the right decision.
2. There is one scene where Sal does a "Bye Bye Birdie" impression, after having rebuffed his wife's negligeed advances on the grounds that he is too upset about work. His wife looks at him, crushed, magically realizing he was gay. Would his wife, a nice, young, religious girl from Baltimore, even have known enough about gay people to have a stereotype of them in her mind? Would that stereotype have been one of "showtunes nut"? If the answer to either of those questions is "no", than her magical epiphany moment is historically inaccurate.
3. Pete Campbell is fascinating. He does not cheat as often as the others; its not a habit, more an "if opportunity strikes, I won't turn it down", type of cheating, which is admirable, given the social context he is living in. On the one hand, he says terribly hurtful things to Trudy. On the other hand, they have moments of real communication - he shares what is going on in his life with her, including his worries. In certain senses, their relationship is the most real. Despite his huge flaws, he does care for her.
4. I really empathize with Betty. Even in today's world, there is so much pressure on women to look perfect and cook good food, to be perfect wives and mothers. I consider myself lucky that I live in a world where I can pursue a career - I can't imagine how frustrating it would be to go to college and not be able to use my education in a way I considered productive! Also, Don does not really share things with Betty. She feels isolated and lonely. She does many actions I disapprove of, but I can understand her frustration.
Just today, removing my eye makeup, I was wondering how healthy or unhealthy it is to actually wear makeup. I know women have been putting chemicals on themselves for thousands of years to color different parts of their bodies in order to make themselves more attractive to men. But sometimes I wonder, what does it say about me, a feminist who I consider a pretty self-confident person, if there are days I feel the need to wear makeup?
I find these days fall into two categories: 1. Days when the makeup enhances my outfit. 2. Days when I am feeling uncomfortable with something I have done in my life, or feeling unaccomplished as a human being. When I am feeling truly at peace with myself, like I am living my life to the fullest and accomplishing things, I usually don't care about makeup, and I often don't have time for makeup. (Of course, many accomplished woman still find the time to apply makeup everyday.)
I guess what I am saying, is, I definitely feel social pressure to look "good". I am aware that when I walk into a room, I will be analyzed - have I lost or gained weight? Is my hair done? Does my outfit match? - and that people - including people I know - will use this analysis to infer things about me as a human being, and about my life. I do not think this is a pressure that men face to the same degree; if a man gains or loses ten pounds, it may be remarked upon, but for a woman, even three pounds will do the trick.
I now address women, specifically (as opposed to the mixed gender audience I previously had in mind): How often do we judge ourselves and each other, giving into the patriarchal values that have been instilled in us by our culture? Every time we judge a woman based on the patriarchal values of society, we are giving in, and further perpetuating the patriarchy.
Back to mixed-gender again: I think that is why I sympathize with Betty - she symbolizes that pressure to be outwardly perfect that most women face every day. I feel bad for her, because no one shows any interest in who she is as a person - and I thank God that in my life, I am surrounded by people who do show that interest, and who are supportive and inspiring. If only Betty had that, then perhaps her life wouldn't be so drab.
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