2. I am going to deal with both hypocrisy gneivat daat: I realize lately, I think guys get mad at me a lot because I unwittingly lead them on, and then they expect ass and don't get any. I can't blame them for being mad, but I don't do it on purpose - guys assume because I am really open about my sexuality that I also sleep around, etc. But am I a hypocrite - to preach and theorize about openness without acting on it by sleeping around? I don't know - maybe I am. Along those lines, is what I am doing gneivat daat? I am misleading men; this seems unfair and wrong.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Halachik Issues: Nidah, Hypocrisy, and Gneivat Daat
1. The way shomrut negiah works today is like this: Rabbis decide to control women's sexuality by not letting them immerse in a mikvah before marriage, therefore ensuring women will be shomeret. The problem is though, if women are to practice all the stringencies of nidah until marriage, then they shouldn't even be passing a cup of a bottle to a man - even a male relative such as a brother or father! Not even haredi households abide by this standard; so then really, what are the rabbis saying? That pre-marriage a woman should only hold by some nidah restrictions and not others - but then doesn't that mean those restrictions aren't important to begin with - so then why should she keep them? Yet another way hilchot shomrut negiah (by which I mean not having women immerse) impede on hilchot nidah.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Re 2: As a guy who is fairly open about sexuality and would not kiss (let alone have sex with) someone I'm attracted to outside the context of a serious romantic relationship, I think you're totally justified. It's chutzpah and in fact sexist to assume that you will agree to have sex because you're open about sexuality. Not only do I think it's not hypocritical, but I think it's an admirable thing that you discuss sexuality and write poetry about it, and at the same time I don't think that sleeping around is a good thing.
ReplyDeleteIt's true that we live in a culture in which that assumption is sometimes made, but that's a culture that I have a lot of problems with.