Poll

I was having a discussion with a male friend (I've recently realized most of my friends are male). He told me straight guys divide women into two categories: "friends" or "potentially fuck-able", and that often there was overlap between the two.

First of all I'd be interested in hearing from other straight guys about whether or not they disagree (or gay guys, how they divide guys, or bi guys for how they divide both).

Second of all, I have to say, as a woman I agree a bit - there are guy friends who, while I am not interested in pursuing a relationship with, I am somewhat attracted to, or are in the back of my mind "potentially fuck-able", whereas there are some guy friends who are not. Boyfriends as well as hot guys on the street also slide into the potentially fuck-able category.

I feel like this classification is incredibly objectifying however. I am not usually actively thinking about sex when I talk to guys, unless I am talking to someone I am majorly attracted to. I am just thinking of them as people. I would like to think this is not impossible for guys - after all, the possibility of viewing people as people, regardless of gender, is kind of the basis of platonic friendships.

Anyhow, I've been thinking about this topic a lot, because sometimes it seems to me that guys in my life come in two categories: Guys who want to be friends and guys who want to fuck me - and sometimes there is overlap. I think that in today's society, one does not have to define one's relationship: You can fuck someone and not be their friend, or be their friend and fuck them, or be their friend and not fuck them. So you can get the benefits of their body and soul without having to define yourself as "in a relationship" with them. One the one hand, this is awesome - there is no pressure and no commitment. On the other, at times it can be frustrating - because there is no commitment.

If you say that the difference between friendship and relationship is monogamy, I'd remind you that there are open relationships.

What bugs me most about this standard is that most women I know seem to want commitment, which means that this standard is being geared towards the needs of men and not of women. I think the women want commitment perhaps partially because of biology, but mostly because of a society that teaches women to want committed monogamous relationships, and that if they sleep with two many guys or have one-night stands than they are sluts.

Basically, its sexism at work. Either change the standard, or educate women to have different desires - or a bit of both.