about how the Israeli rabbinate is now preventing Tzohar, a liberal Orthodox rabbinic organization, from performing weddings. In Israel, there is no distinction between secular and religious weddings: Each religion has its own legal-religious authority that is tasked with performing marriages. The only way to have a secular legal marriage is to have that marriage performed abroad and register it with Israeli authorities when one returns home. For Jews, the body tasked with performing marriages is the government rabbinate, which tends to be right wing. Many secular or even liberal religious Israelis don't feel comfortable marrying with the rabbinate; Tzohar, as a more liberal organization, strove to cater to the needs of those Jews by marrying them religiously and registering them with the municipal rabbinic court, but is now being prevented from doing so.
As an aside, Israel does have recognized domestic partnerships outside of official legal marriage - i.e, common law marriage.
As a religious Jew, I would not feel comfortable having an official Israeli religious legal marriage, for two reasons a) I object to the rabbinate's very existence, so using it to legitimize my romantic relationship seems a bit hypocritical/grants the rabbinate legitimacy I think it lacks b) the rabbinate has a terrible record in terms of its treatment of women seeking divorce - and any institution that does not respect women does not have the moral authority to legitimize my romantic relationship. As a matter of fact, I hope for a marriage based on respect and equality - the very opposite of the values the rabbinate espouses, so why would I want to start off my marriage by having anything to do with that institution?
I probably would get a secular marriage abroad and register it in Israel upon returning, or have a legally recognized common law marriage.
In terms of religious marriage, with a halachik prenup (a legal document in which the husband binds himself to give the wife a get in terms of divorce) I would consider a religious marriage, provided that marriage were not connected in any way, shape, or form, to the Israeli rabbinate. To perform such a marriage in Israel is actually illegal, so it would have to be done abroad as well.
Some other options I like are marriage by religious contract (as opposed to the ketubah and ring ceremony) and concubinage. More and more I wonder if "living together" does not halachikly constitute at least concubinage, maybe even marriage - according to the plain reading of the mishna, a woman is acquired through money, contract, or sex. This does not mean that sex automatically means marriage (the guys at Qumran believed that, which might have been why they had so much trouble getting laid), just as giving money to a woman does not automatically constitute marriage - there must be intent behind the giving, whether it is of money or of one's body. But in a relationship where sex is given in the context of living together, maybe the intent of building a life together - ie marriage - is part of the sex? But then you run into the problem of two male witnesses...unless you are an exhibitionist and have some really kinky friends....
I guess I am still figuring all of this stuff out, but it is worth pondering, and I am much more flexible and amenable to non-traditional religious forms of union than I would have thought possible a few years ago - though yes, I still see the chuppah and the white dress as my "ideal".
I am glad there is a lot of noise being made about the new move to prevent Tzohar weddings, even though Tzohar is still too connected to the rabbinate for me to feel comfortable using.
I am also glad that this Friday, the 11th, at 11, Yisrael Chofshit (mentioned in a previous post) will be having a musical event for men and women to "take back" the streets and public places for women.
Info:
I also saw this interesting article about women and worker's rights in Israel. I think the issue it raises is a general global one, this article just focuses on how the issue plays itself out in Israel bc it's an Israeli newspaper (a strike was called in Israel for earlier this week): http://www.haaretz.com/print-edition/opinion/most-of-israel-s-expendable-workers-are-women-1.394277
No comments:
Post a Comment