Being a feminist is exhausting: Being angry at the patriarchy and all that jazz, when that jazz surrounds you everyday, is just tiring. Of course, at times I leave it behind - I too, am capable of laughing at a mysogynistic joke or even telling one once in a while. I am not about to become a not feminist - as a matter of fact, today someone joked that my feminism was rubbing off on them and that made me happy - but I did want to point out this fact.
Anyhow, the Jerusalem post had an "Ask the Rabbi: Does Halach permit pre-marital sexual relations" column and a dvar Torah from Rabbi Riskin that had some interesting observations on Avraham's relationship with Sarah. The halacha article was ambiguous, mainly pointing out that the Torah never mentions pre-marital sex as its own category, whether for good or for ill (except in cases of rape or seduction of a virgin, where a man must either pay for the woman's upkeep for the rest of her life by giving a huge sum of money to her father, the assumption being she is now unmarriable and will remain in her father's house, or he must marry her and can not divorce her. The choice is hers to make. Obviously, the point of his marrying her would be that marriage entailed financial support. In ancient near eastern society, women were financially dependent on husbands, fathers, or brothers, and life outside of a household was not an option - as a matter of fact, life outside a household was not usually feasible for men either. The Torah does not condone the fact that she was considered unmarriable - it was merely recognizing a fact of ancient near eastern society and trying to protect the woman given that fact.)
The Rabbi Riskin article is worth summarizing but I'm too tired at the moment.
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