Rivkah and Yitzhak

A friend pointed out over shabbat pointed out that Rivka's family asks her if she would like to go and marry Yitzhak, and how revolutionary that was for the time. Then we got into a discussion about how Judaism does not beleive in coerced marriage; a marriage is a contract in which two people must give consent and if one does not - whether it is the man or the woman - the marriage is not considered valid.

My friend's comment - about how marrying Yitzhak was Rivka's choice - elicited another comment, about the possibility that Rivkah was desperate to escape her home, especially if her folks were as bad as the midrash says.

This entire discussion got me thinking more about Rivka and Yitzhak: Rivka has a very physical, powerful response to seeing Yitzhak for the first time - she falls off the camel. Meanwhile, Yitzhak loves Rivkah from the beginning of their marriage, and the Torah states so outright. They are so passionate that they can't keep their hands off each other, and hence fail at the whole "She's just my sister" ruse that was succesfully carried out by Avraham and Sarah. Rivka also clearly knows what her husband wants - she seems to run his life, and he doesn't mind. They even pray together, for the same thing - children - when they are experiencing difficulty conceiving. The Torah describes them praying while facing each other. This presents a strong contrast to Avraham, who prays for a child for himself without mentioning Sarah - a fact that the rabbis attibute Sarah's anger to, when she tells Avraham after Hagar conceives a child for him, "My anger is upon you". At the same time, one does not see much verbal communication between Yitzhak and Rivka - she goes behind his back with getting Yaakov the birthright, although she does speak to Yitzhak when convincing him to send Yaakov to Lavan, and Yitzhak listens. He also does not seem too upset that Yaakov is the one with the birthright, and does not try to change things, but actually gives Yaakov an additional bracha after finding out the truth - which makes one wonder if Rivkah knew what Yitzhak wanted better than he did. In any event, the image is one of a powerful woman who runs the household, who has a passionate relationship with her husband, even if sometimes there are miscommunications/she manipulates him "My Big Fat Greek Wedding Style - "The man is the head, but the woman is the neck and she can turn the head any way she wants".