In Vayikra 18:22, it say, “thou shalt not lie with a man as one lies with a woman”. This verse has been grappled with by men and women for centuries, and is commonly held to be a prohibition against homosexual anal intercourse. 'If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.
Those who try to explain this prohibition often use two arguments: 1. It is not natural : The natural, Torah-ordained order of things is that sex is used for reproduction, and homosexual sex circumvents that purpose, thus using sex in a way it was not meant to be used. 2. Sexuality is somehow immoral. It is immoral, because were it not immoral, the Torah would not have forbidden it. This is circular reasons: The Torah forbids it, therefore it is immoral. Why is it immoral? Because the Torah forbids it.
The first argument can be addressed in a variety of ways: First of all, while reproduction is considered a primary goal of sex in Judaism, it is not considered the only goal. Sexual pleasure is considered a legitimate endeavor, and sex between infertile couples or couples where the woman is post-menopausal ie where the sex will not result in reproduction, is allowed. This is because Judaism recognizes sexual pleasure as a legitimate expression of a loving relationship, regadless of whether that sex will result in children. Therefore, reproduction can be said to be one of sex’s purposes, but not the only purpose.
Furthermore, scientific studies show that other species besides humans engage in homosexuality, and that sexuality, at least for males, is biologically determined. (For women there is more debate in the scientific community; female homosexuality has been under-studied in our patriarchal world.)
Ultimately however, whether or not homosexuality is biologically pre-determined is not related to halacha. Even if homosexuality is biologically pre-determined, it is still halachikly forbidden. The Torah often asks man to overcome his biologically instilled desires. Studies show that more and more of our instincts are genetically pre-determined - pedophilia, alcoholism, disposition to violence, etc. Yet the Torah recognizes that while biology can imbue us with instincts and desires, it is up to us to shape our actions, and we have the ability to overcome those instincts and desires.
This still leaves us with the second argument: Is homosexuality immoral simply because the Torah forbade homosexual action? For this, let us turn to the great sage Dr. Yeshayahu Liebowitz, z”l. He drew a clear distinction between morality and halacha, whereby something that is not halachicly permitted may still be moral. If one uses this distinction, then the halachik illegality of homosexual anal intercourse does not prove its immorality, or imply anything about the morality or immorality of such intercourse. Eating pork is Biblically forbidden, but no one thinks that eating pork is immoral. Furthermore, no one thinks that someone is perverted or strange for desiring pork, even though it is forbidden by the Torah. So too, someone should not be considered perverted or strange for desiring people of the same sex, even though it is forbidden by the Torah. Judaism is an action-based religion; if desire to sin does not result in sin, then a person is not guilty. Furthermore, according to certain opinions the proper attitude towards negative commandments is not “I do not want pork”, but rather “I want pork very much, but do not eat it because it is forbidden” - the desire itself is healthy, and it is the refusal to gratify the desire that makes it service of God. If one has no desire to eat pork, one’s not eating pork is not proof of worship of God, but rather the result of one’s own preferences. A straight person is not worshiping God by not having sex with people of the same gender, they are simply pursuing their own sexual gratification, which happens to accord with halacha. A gay person who refrains from such actions however, is worshipping God, at the cost of great emotional and sexual frustration for themselves. In Judaism, “according to the suffering is the reward”, and a person who has homosexual feelings but refrains from such actions, should be admired for the incredible self-control and love of God that they are carrying out. A person who does engage in homosexual activity should not be judged, for no person has the right to judge another person, and the sexual drive is one of the greatest drives in humans, and one of the most difficult to overcome. The rabbis recognized the power of this drive when they coined the expression, “There is no way to prevent sexual sins”, eyna apitropus le-arayot.
Furthermore, in Judaism, everyone has an obligation to respect others. If you are homosexual, even if someone may consider it a sin, this does not absolve them of their religious obligation to behave kindfully and respectfully towards you. Anyone who uses your sexuality as an excuse to bully you, is in the wrong, regardless of whether or not homosexuality may be a sin. Don’t let the holier-than-thous get you down! And remember, you are not alone: Millions of men and women throughout Jewish history have been homosexual, and have had to grapple with the difficult dilemmas posed by halacha.
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